10 Subconscious behaviours that make others ignore you
Category Lifestyle
Have you ever felt like you're talking, but nobody is listening? It's a frustrating experience, leaving you wondering why people seem to ignore you even when you're trying your best. The truth is, there may be some subconscious behaviours you're displaying that are turning people off without you even realising it. In this article, we'll explore ten behaviours and how to avoid them.
1 - Negative body language
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Body language speaks volumes, often louder than words. Poor body language, such as avoiding eye contact, crossing your arms, or fidgeting, can make others ignore you. Constantly fidgeting with your hands, hair, or clothing while speaking is distracting and shows a lack of poise that makes others take you less seriously.
So, catch yourself when fidgeting takes over and place your hands calmly. Remember to stand tall, keep those eyes engaged, and let your body language exude warmth and confidence! Also, remember to maintain good posture, make eye contact, and keep your body language open to ensure that others feel comfortable around you.
2 - Constant complaining
Constantly complaining can be a major turnoff for others. While it's natural to vent occasionally, focusing too much on the negative can push people away. Most of our social time is for our benefit, and nothing can be more frustrating than an energy vampire that sucks all the colour out of the room because they refuse to shoo away that rain cloud over their heads!
Negativity breeds negativity.
So, focus on the positive aspects of life and spread some optimism! Instead of dwelling on what's wrong, focus on what's going well or what you're grateful for. People are more drawn to positive energy and will be less likely to ignore you if you exude optimism and positivity.
3 - Interrupting
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It is essential to let others talk and actively listen to what they say. Constantly interrupting others sends a signal that you don't value their thoughts or opinions.
So, let others speak, listen actively, and show them that you genuinely care about what they have to say. Give them the space to express themselves fully before jumping in with your thoughts. This demonstrates respect for their ideas and fosters better communication and deeper connections.
4 - Excessive bragging and talking
Sharing your accomplishments is fine, but constantly bragging about yourself can create distance between you and others. We all love to share our accomplishments, and being proud of our achievements is perfectly fine. However, when we constantly brag about ourselves, it can unintentionally create distance between us and others.
Instead, take an interest in other people's lives, ask questions, and show genuine curiosity. Doing so will foster deeper connections, and people will be less inclined to ignore you. Remember, conversation is a two-way street. By showing genuine interest in others, you make them feel valued and create a more engaging and enjoyable interaction for everyone involved.
5 - Inability to Listen
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Listening is an art, and when you fail to listen to others actively, it can make them feel unimportant or undervalued. Listening is an art that many of us struggle with. But it's an important one!
Put away distractions, focus on the person in front of you, and truly listen. Show empathy, ask follow-up questions, and let them know you genuinely care. When you show that you are engaged and interested in what others have to say, they are more likely to reciprocate the attention and not ignore you.
6 - Apologising too much
Apologising excessively, especially for minor things, can make others perceive you as weak or lacking confidence. Saying sorry for no reason sets the subconscious tone that you're not worth listening to.
Unnecessarily saying things like "sorry to bother you" and "I'm sorry if this sounds stupid" conditions others to tune you out immediately. Limit your apologies to when you genuinely did something wrong, not as a tic before speaking.
7 - Frequently using filler words
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Filler words like "like," "um," and "you know" can make you appear unsure or unprepared. Fillers are common in speech, but relying on them too heavily can detract from your message and make others tune you out.
Although filler words are sometimes unavoidable, aim to reduce them by practising your points in advance and speaking at a natural pace without rushing. Speak more deliberately when vital information is at stake.
8 - Dominating conversations
Do you speak loudly or talk over others? When you don't give others a chance, they're immediately put off from the conversation and ultimately feel disrespected and less likely to listen to what you say.
Be mindful of how much you're speaking. Listen to others and wait for them to finish speaking before chiming in. If you get excited and talk too much, take a breath and give others a chance to speak.
9 - Being easily distracted
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Being distracted by your phone or other things during conversations can signal to others that you're not fully present and utterly disengaged. Whether scrolling through social media or replying to a text, looking down at your phone sends a clear message. "I'm not really here, and I don't really care."
Make an effort to put away distractions and give the other person your full attention. This means keeping your phone out of sight and focusing on the person you're talking to. Demonstrating that you value what they say and are fully present in the conversation will encourage others to engage with you more actively and avoid being ignored.
10 - Weak or timid voice
Your voice's tone, volume, and clarity greatly impact how much others listen. A weak or timid voice can undermine your message and make others ignore what you say.
Practice speaking with a fuller, steadier tone and enunciating clearly, even if it initially feels unnatural. Increase your volume slightly when necessary without yelling. A stronger voice commands attention and indicates confidence and authority.
Make a conscious effort to avoid these habits, build better connections with others, and ensure you're not being ignored by being aware of your verbal and non-verbal cues and being present at the moment.
It's not always easy, but unless you exhibit neurodivergent characteristics, you have no excuse!
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Author: Bryce Anderson